He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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