he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize