is wine microwaveable?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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