Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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