you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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