Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
