I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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