K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
