Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
