He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Sorry my hands just texted you
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
