therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
