Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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