Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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