Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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