best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
