As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
