That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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