But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
