Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
