try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just cropdusted the office
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
