in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
