32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
