first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
