Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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