i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
