I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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