Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
