Swine flu. Run for my life!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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