Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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