I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
