I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
