Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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