you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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