careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
