you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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