forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
