Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
