Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
So I just went to clothing optional bar
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
