Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
