question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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