Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
