ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
