Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
