Porn is love you can see.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize