Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
So many bounce houses so little time
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize