You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
