from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
