Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
