Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
