Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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