he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
