One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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