you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
