Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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