If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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