Non-Jews are for practice
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
third nipple confirmed
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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