I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
nut hugger
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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