Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
We're too hungover to prance.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
