i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
