theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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