So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
