Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
