im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
