Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
