i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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