he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
