How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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