dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize