i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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