I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
