so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
