I CAN MOONWALK!
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize