She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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