True but thats because hes a fetus.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
