and you said cock pushups were impossible
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
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He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
