k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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