In the future we'll all be gay
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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