So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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