Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
