I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
