it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
