now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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